A Mock Clinical Analysis of Ray Parker Jr Based on the Ghostbusters Music Video
For my psychology class, we had to do a mock clinical analysis of a famous person and fill out a fake clinical psychiatric intake form as that person. Most students chose people like George Washington and Marilyn Monroe. I, on the other hand, decided to do an analysis on Ray Parker Jr based on the Ghostbusters music video. I don’t think I astounded anyone with my psychological insights. Sigmund Freud, I ain’t.
PATIENT FORM
Name: Ray Parker, Jr.
Primary Occupation: Buster of ghosts, expert in all activities related to the field of ghostbustery.
Do you have any form of medical insurance? Can pay in signed headshots of Harold Ramis.
MENTAL HEALTH QUESTIONS
What problems are you having which prompted you to come to this clinic? Please explain any problems you may have with the following:
Extreme unreasonable fears: None. Not Ghosts. Definitely not afraid of ghosts.
Intrusive, upsetting memories of past event: The Marshmallow man. Oh god oh god the Marshmallow man. So much screaming. So much death.
Occupational problems: Hard to find work as Ghostbuster in current economic climate.
Housing problems: Currently in residence under scantily clad woman’s bed.
Problems with the law, legal system: Charged with breaking and entering, currently under restraining order. See above.
Can’t prevent repetitive thoughts: GHOSTBUSTERS! GHOSTBUSTERS!
Can’t prevent impulsive behavior: Impulsively send fake news articles to Huey Lewis with headline reading “Breaking News: Huey Lewis is a Piece of Shit,” and a note attached that says “How do you like that news, Huey?”
Financial/economic problems: Have gone deep into debt calling Ghostbusters hotline and Dan Aykroyd.
Problems/losses within my family and friends: Dan Aykroyd refuses to return my calls.
See or hear things that may not be real: Hallucinations of Chevy Chase, George Wendt, and Al Franken singing about ghosts, see objects only in two-dimensional neon-light outline.
Stopped enjoying usual activities: Lost passion I once had for hunting down the spirits of tortured souls
Try to do way too much: There is only so much bustin’ one man can do.
Thoughts of death: I bust ghosts for a living. Of course I think about death.
GENERAL HEALTH QUESTIONS
Do you have a balanced diet and adequate nutrition? Feast regularly on bountiful harvest of souls.
Do you exercise regularly? Engage in choreographed street dances with SNL and Second City alumni whenever I can.
Please detail any current or past drug use: Suffered addiction to ectoplasm of hell-bound souls, which produces a high more intense than ecstasy and heroin combined.
CLINICAL ANALYSIS
Parker exhibits intense delusions, paranoia, and hallucinations. The client believes strongly in the existence of ghosts and considers it is his duty to “bust” said ghosts. It must be noted that no evidence of supernatural activity associated with Mr. Parker has ever been found, only a briefcase full of tootsie-roll lollypops with Kleenex tissues tied around them to resemble the crude figure of a ghost. It is unclear at this point if Mr. Parker constructed these figures himself or he obtained them from a child’s Halloween party. It is clear, however, that all materials which could be fashioned into the shape of a ghost must be kept away from the client, lest any unfortunate “busting” relapses occur.
Parker also appears to suffer from an inflated sense of self-esteem and delusions of grandeur. For instance, Parker insists that the so-called Ghostbusters are the only people who should be contacted in the event that there is “something strange in the neighborhood,” an occurrence which would actually fall under the jurisdiction of local police and neighborhood watch organizations. Parker, however, seems to see the Ghostbusters as Messianic figures who can not only save the world from ghosts, but also from his own personal demons. For Parker, the Ghostbusters go beyond simple ghost extermination- they represent his hopes, his dreams, and his fears about life and death. Ultimately, they are nothing more than the byproduct of a fevered imagination that conjures up nightmarish images of a singing Chevy Chase.
Parker also exhibits pathological insecurity beneath his outward display of bravado. He continually boasts that he “ain’t afraid of no ghosts,” a sentiment he seems unable to convince himself of. For instance, this declaration that apparitions do not frighten him is negated by use of the double negative, strongly suggesting that he is in fact afraid of ghosts, so afraid, in fact, that he often takes refuge under a woman’s bed. On this note, I must issue a word of caution to my colleagues. If a man emerges from under one’s bed screaming about ghosts, ignore all demands to call Ghostbusters; simply notify the authorities immediately.
Diagnosis: Paranoid Schizophrenia
Treatment: Confinement in a psychiatric institution is strongly recommended. Avoid all mention of Huey Lewis for risk of bodily harm.
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